That is my two cents worth of Polygamy. It is not an excuse. It is not a trick for the man to abuse the women, by marriage and divorce for Allah shuns people who divorce.
Imagine this? How many times have you seen cat fights? Women fighting each other because of one man in the new era.How many times do you see a family broken down, children in haphazard conditions because their father passed away, robbed of their love and care, and most of all, the financial and emotional support. Or a lady fancy another man who is someone's husband, eventually committing adultery and having complications like child out of wedding locks?
That is what Islam is all about. Being Charitable and care for the less fortunate, not just in financial and physical support, but emotional support.
Let's not talk about Man being unable to control their little Joystick and the lusty control for a hotter babe. That is being very chauvinist of me to speak of, but about the capacity of a man to share his capacity as a husband or more,a father to an orphan.
For once, being a man is more than just a man. A man is about being a leader and also a person who is passionate about their charges. Apart from that, alot of men, do get married to either Widows or Divorcee. Mainly because that a woman as such knew how to care much better for a man, plus that she is more experienced in bed. They tend not to make the same mistakes as what they did first time round.
Adultery is punishable by death in Islam. So the need to wear a Hijab to uphold the modesty of women does help, but not much in this new age, since the availability of pornography is rampant, and the 'cheap sale' of the women nowadays makes it worse. I remember back when I was working in an Engineering firm, that my Personal Assistant told me it is the norm to coax the boss up, in either to get promoted, to get married, or just in the bedroom to get up the boardroom. Which is shame, since she was just 19 and have a long life to go forward.
As such, it is norm to be married to another woman's husband rather than risking it all and getting a crook or an addict as a husband (of the family choosing;betrothed etc) while that man actually portray a Good image. And for the woman, it is much better to share and be at peace for the sake of the children, rather than risking it all and loosing it all, stability, love of a father for the children, and financial and emotional need. Sexually too.
Remember Solomon whom had 99 wives at one go?And the story of the Herd?
Polygamy does not mean one should just focus on the new wife or upgrade, but be fair to all, financially, emotionally and sexually. For Allah sternly warned that "the man who is not fair to his herd (of wife and kids) will find himself in shame and without any flesh on the other side (half) of his body,bare and just bones on the day of reckoning".
Being just is not easy. One can try as much as he could, but being man, he is expected to be just as much as possible; a loving father, and a darling of a husband.It is not just what the 'brother' wants but being able to satisfy all wives.. is not an easy task, especially taking care of a herd of kids.
For me..one wife and a kid is already a headache.What of two?
In itself, it is frowned upon to share the marital bed with all the wives, but each of them in a separate house and bed so that they won't clash with each other, but hoping that they can co-exist in harmony or better still..work together, taking care of each other kids, or even breastfeeding them. In the ancient times, (or even now), nursing mums are allowed in Islam for women who can't breastfeed due to health and medical reasons so that the best is given to the child/baby. Motherhood is very much looked up upon for it is a Jihad for a woman giving birth and nursing the child for 30 months (or how long she can breastfeed to the child).
In the economic sense, the Family Unit is now being intact and thus does not become a liability to the common society by asking for assistance. In England alone, more than Â£750 Million was spent to help out families which are not complete, like Single Mothers, Kids without Parents, Single parent families, Child Support, Child Benefits etc.
In essence, by being a complete family, the family saves more money because they don't spend on unwanted items like psychiatric bills and medication, take outs and child care costs. On top of that, the cost of day care and baby sitter costs are avoided as the family is intact. In soothe, the parents can effectively go out to work instead of having to rely on support because of the need to pay childcare costs.
By being 100% efficient, a family unit gets more money coming into the family and the children are cared for properly.
The Singapore Government gave away $3000 for every child born to offset childcare and minding fees so that the parents can go to work . If only one parent is working, on average the income will be $1500 compared to $3000 plus for both parents, and in essence the workforce gets rid of the 40% of the non-working adult population totally contributing to over $1.9 Billion to the economy monthly which means $2.2 Billion in Taxes based on the adult population of 4.9 million residents within the City State.
Respectfully to you: I always thought that the practice of polygamy was for the purpose of increasing the offspring of healthy, intelligent males. One would need to be fairly healthy to procreate, and somewhat intelligent to have been successful enough to afford more wives. This practice was established so long ago in history and was seen in many cultures; it is not only confined, as I'm sure you already know, to Islam. Also the prohibition of homosexuality, because it wasn't understood that it's not a choice, was discouraged because they wouldn't produce offspring who were so badly needed to maintain their society. Thank you for your perspective and for reading mine.ReplyDelete